The Girl Who Loved Returns
by Super Nintendo Power
Summary: After three years of training in the depths of space, The Girl Who Loved is called back to Earth to fight Voldemort and his men, alongside the warriors of Hogwarts School. FemHarry. Parody. Reboot of The Girl Who Loved.
1. Chapter 1

The GIrl Who Loved Returns

A girl trudged her way through the snow, as a sub zero wind pelted her back. The Girl was very cold, although nowhere near death. Indeed, the Girl was warming herself up, second by second, with the knowledge that with every step she took, would bring her one step closer to her destination.

One step closer. Two steps closer. Three steps closer to all the people she needed to see.

It was funny, she thought. These men were feared throughout the Universe for ridding the world of the Great Old Ones, and yet...

Flower rubbed her left arm, deep in thought. Surely, surely, if she could meet these men, they could tell her if she was ready to fight Him again.

The Past three years had not treated the girl well. Flower's clothes were tattered and filthy. Her skin was battered and bruised, and the once beautiful child had now grown into an awkward, bitchy teenager.

However, the one thing Flower cared about was within in her reach, and these things meant little to her now. Just a little bit further, and everything would be alright.

Flower shivered as she looked through the blizzard, trying to make out any sort of building. But the snow was so thick, nothing could be seen for more then a few yards.

just a little bit further she thought to herself. Just a little bit further, and then you can get yourself warm, have a nice dinner, maybe meet a nice guy. And sleep with...

Sleep. That was all Flower wanted. All she wanted to do was curl up and pass out. Warmth would come then, surely.

Sure, sleeping out in the cold was probably a bad idea, but Flower would cross that bridge when she came across it. As she fell to the ground, the thought crossed her mind that she could really use a guy to warm up her legs...

"Dammit, girl! Get up! Up!" Flower briefly recalled her lovely Aunt Petunia as she cracked her eyes open.

"Bro... leave me alone. I'm trying to take a nap."

"Flower, if you sleep here, you're going to die!" The Snow White Owl said, as she pecked Flower's up. "Up! Up!"

"Oh, hey Hedwig." Flower said sleepily. She yawned as she sat up. "It's been a while."

"Never mind that, now!" Hedwig said quickly. "If you don't keep moving, you're going to die!"

Hedwig took off and grabbed Flower's arms with her talons. She took to the air, lifting Flower on her feet before dropping her again. "There's a sort of community just a bit further. Follow me, and I'll lead you to it!"

"Stay low." Flower murmured as she took a few steps. "You're pure white. I can't see far."

As the girl staggered through the snow, the owl soared over her head, offering her friendly advice in a soft, motherly manner. If Flower fell over again, Hedwig did not think she could help her up.

Flower was strong, yes, but Hedwig had absolutely no idea how long she could last like this.

"This is boring." Flower complained, as she took another step. "It's so... cold... and nothing... to do..." She yawned, and her eyes drooped.

"Dammit, Flower!" Hedwig snapped as she dove down and smacked her across the head with her wing. "Stay awake!"

But Flower was too long gone. The force of Hedwig's blow had knocked her over, and she happily keeled over, and was quickly absorbed by the snow.

"Flower!" Hedwig said frantically, as she frantically flew circles around the spot where she had fallen. "Flower!"

But Flower did not poke her head out of the snow, with her feral smile and her playful banter.

And then an arrow pierced her wing. Hedwig screeched in alarm as she plummeted into the snow. Although Hedwig was in great pain, she knew that she was being hunted. she adjusted her body to hide the blood and make herself look like an ordinary clump of snow. She could not take off again when someone with a Bow and Arrows was running about.

As Hedwig did this, she could clearly see a figure coming in through the blizzard. Hedwig tried to still her beating heart, halfway convinced the hunter could hear it over the blizzard. The Hunter looked around, doubtless for his prey, and took several steps to Hedwig's location. Hedwig held her breath, trying to keep still, as the man stepped closer and closer.

He stopped. He looked down, and began digging through the snow. He reached down and brought out a hand. A Human hand. He then reached down and pulled out Flower, whose skin was turning blue. He adjusted his hold on her, and walked away.

Hedwig's inital panic turned to relief, and then to horror. There was no telling what that figure was, or who it was working for, or what it would do to Flower. Quickly, she hobbled to her feet, and took to the sky.

...

As Flower awoke, she found herself in a brightly lit room. As she adjusted herself, she realized that she was covered in blankets. She pushed the blankets to the side, and got to her feet. She looked over her body.

"Nothing's missing." She muttered, as she checked her fingers. One, two, three, four, five. She checked her other hand. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Someone had taken off her shoes, and all of her toes were still attached to her foot. "Nice." Flower said aloud, as she twirled and bounced on one foot. "I'm as good as new."

Flower looked around the room, and wondered what had happened to Hedwig. Ah, well. She could take care of herself. Flower was more concerned about where she was at the moment. She spotted a door on the far side of the room, and she walked over to it, wondering what was on the other side.

"Eek!"

Flower instintively whirled, and tried to grab the sword on her hip. But it was not there. Figures.

Sitting in the corner, where Flower had neglected to look, sat a beauty of a teenage girl sitting in an a plush armchair. Her eyes were wide in horror.

"What the hell? What the hell are you doing here?" Flower snapped. In all of her three years training off planet, She had never, ever, ever, seen another human in all that time.

"I'm... here to watch over you." The girl stuttered. "Master ordered me too!"

"Well, you can tell your master I'm a big girl, and-" Flower stopped there, as she noticed the girl's ears. Pointed. "Son of a bitch." Flower swore. She turned on her heel and strutted off.

"Wait!" The girl exclaimed, as she got to her feet. "You can't go out there yet!"

Flower ignored her: Her status as an elf (Although, she was not deformed like her enslaved cousins) made her far inferior, and therefore, nothing she said could be trusted.

Flower wrenched the door open and found a hallway. She stepped outside smartly, slamming the door in the girl's face.

"Where the hell did Hedwig get to?" Flower wondered aloud. It had only just now occured to her that Hedwig must have spent some time searching for her amongst the stars. But why would she have done such a thing? If Voldemort had fallen before Flower had gotten a hold of him, she was going to be pissed.

She opened doors at random as she walked down the hall. Most were empty, but a couple had a few elves playing Mortal Kombat 2 on a old arcade machine. Fucking Elves.

Suddenly, a sharp noise began blaring, again, again, again, and again. Flower stood there in shock for a minute, before realizing that this was an alarm. What was the emergency?

Men began pouring out of doors on both ends of the hallway. Armed with nothing but their magic, they surrounded Flower.

"Hello." Flower said, trying to sound sultry. It came out rather raspy, however. Her body and mind may have been sharpened by years of training, but the 'no boys' rule Flower set for herself had not improved her seduction skills. Dammit.

"Any funny moves, Human, and we won't hesistate to hurt you." One of the men said.

"Oooh, how romantic." Flower snickered. "Anyway, Slave, you really shouldn't try to push me." Threats. Oh, how Flower loved to threaten people who tried to fuck with her...!

Murmers began to penetrate the crowd. Flower beamed. She must have gotten through to the beasts!

"Anyone who refers to the High Order of Elves, the last remaining beings in the Universe that understand the complete workings of all things, whether they be magical or mundane, as Slaves are no friends of ours."

Flower smirked. She spread her hands, and spoke her words of wisdom. "I see you are all operating under a delusion." She declared. "But whatever. I'm bored, and I think it's about time I headed on home. Do you guys have a spaceship?"

"Kill her." The elves said. The advanced forward, their hands brimming with magic, poised to kill.

"How rude!" Flower exclaimed. "This is so... ugh. I can't even get an honest answer around here." She disapparated back into the room where she had awoken, to find the girl from before standing in the doorway, watching the chaos.

"Hey, excuse me!" Flower said. The girl shrieked and turned around.

"How... did you...?"

"No time. Do you guys have a spaceship?" Flower asked. "I kind of need to get home, now."

"You can... teleport?" The girl asked. She seemed to be in shock.

"Yep. It's rather basic, kid." Flower said. "Answer the fucking question."

"Only... our greatest warrior can-"

"Wait, wait, wait." Flower said. "Who's that?"

"Ummm... She's only the most powerful being in the Universe right now." The girl said. Flower snickered. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing."

Flower apparated again, this time in excitement. Anyone who claimed to be 'the strongest in the Universe' was worth looking into, even though they almost certainly weren't that powerful.

As she looked down at the village from above, Flower adjusted her body to take the cold. She built up the power in her hand, and let loose. The Village exploded, and Flower laughed as millions upon millions of hapless elves perished.

Flower landed among the rubble and began looking through her handiwork. It was a very clean job. Destroying the remnants of a civilization while keeping the planet relatively unscarred was rather difficult.

Flower was so pleased with herself in fact, that she didn't notice the figure walking towards her as she patted herself on the back.

"You." She said. Flower turned on the spot, and came face to face with a elf over eight feet tall, who looked not at all happy.

"Hello." Flower said, brightly. "If anyone else survived, tell them that this came about because they were rude to their guest and a superior being. So I'll just-"

"You're going to die here." The elf said.

"No." Flower said firmly. "I'm really not."

"I am the product of several generations." She said. "The descendant of the greatest of all heroes, among the greatest of all races."

"Family doesn't mean shit." Flower said dismissively. "My parents suck, and look: I just destroyed an entire city."

"I am the most powerful being in the Universe." She proclaimed. "I feed off nothing but magic, and my magical core-"

Flower laughed. "I'm sorry, but no. Magical Core's are bullshit." Without taking a second thought, Flower blew her away.

She stood there, rather disappointed with her enemy gone, but she dismissed the thought. Flower had become stronger then ever, it seemed.

As Flower contemplated her place in the Universal rankings, a familiar voice croaked out: "Flower?"

"Hedwig!" Flower proclaimed, as her owl hovered over her. She dropped into Flower's arm.

"Ugh... I'm exhausted." Hedwig complained. "I've been flying around, waiting for you to wake up for days, and then when I take a quick nap, you wake up and trash the place."

"Sorry about that." Flower said dismissively. "Anyway, what did you want with me?"

"Why, to come back, of course!" Hedwig said.

"Of course." Flower said, nodding. "Ron's probably foaming at the mouth right about now... heh heh."

"No." Hedwig said. "Shut up, Flower. It's your brother who wants you."

Flower was understandably not very happy with this.

"WHAT THE HELL?" She shrieked. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"

"Not sexually, you twit." Hedwig said. "I meant, he wants you to come back and fight Voldemort."

"Ah." Flower said, as she nodded. "That makes sense." She pounded her fist. "I'm going to punch Quirell so hard in both of his faces!"

They set off towards Hedwig's ship, Flower chattering happily about what she was going to do to Voldemort and his cronies. Hedwig sighed. Times were tough, after all.


	2. Old Friends

It was never beautiful at Hogwarts school. Surrounded by a Forest that had been burned to the ground by battles aplenty, a lake filled with the blood of Mermen, and a Sky swarming with Dementors, desiring the last bit of hope and joy on the planet that resided within the walls.

The people within, for the most part, were only slightly less worse off then the people being massacred in the world at large. Food was scarce, and it was up to many Advanced transfiguration students to multiply and create fresh food out of the air. Not a very nutritious lifestyle, but it got students through their studies.

And study they did: Whether it was to fight for the Genocide of all Mudbloods and Muggles, or those who felt that the war was wrong, the students worked hard, day and night, to make the grade and graduate.

However, they knew it was futile. Graduation meant nothing. The Dark Lord did not care what were your credentials were as long as forever loyalty was pledged to him, and the Order of the Phoenix (If you could even call it that) Was desperate enough for members as it was.

The Teachers publicly took sides in the conflict. Forcing politics down students throats was once considered wrong, and know, it was expected. If you did not show support for the Dark Lord, how were you to know that you would wake up in the Morning? Despite the overwhelming majority of teachers openly condemning Mudbloods, the reclusive Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, never spoke a word against it. Most were even doubting his own opinion of the matter, as he had not publicly voiced it in sometime.

Of course, Flower did not care about any of that.

The Ship Hedwig had 'borrowed' from the New Galactic Empire soared across the Planet's orbit. Flower starting humming to herself as the Ship began making calculations for the smoothest landing spot nearest to Hogwarts School.

"We're nearly home, Hedwig!" Flower cajoled. She was very pleased, although she had not accomplished her goal of awakening and slaughtering a Great Old One, that could wait. Voldemort was just a man, not a living force of Nature. If she didn't get to him, someone else would.

"Yes, yes." Hedwig said. She turned her head sideways, and opened her beak. This was the Owl equilvant of a relieved smile. Dealing with Flower for this long had rather worn her out. She would be glad to spend some time in the Owlery, and chat with all of her friends.

The Spaceship entered the atmosphere, and Flower smiled. After experiencing so many exotic planets, even her own Nine Point Eight G force of gravity felt like some beautiful nostalgia.

The Spaceship soared lower, and Flower could begin to make out cities and features of the land as they hurtled past. Flower whooped as she threw her hands in the air. Soaring through space was fun, but it got rather boring after a while. Flower's favorite part was the landing of some of the older models of Spaceships. Like this one right here.

Hedwig watched Flower. She was becoming anxious. She had only glanced out the window at the ruined cities below, before losing interest. Hedwig found herself wondering if what Harvey said was true.

_"She hates him as much as we do."_ he had said, as he asked Hedwig to search for her old Master. _"She'll fight alongside us. She has to." _

They slammed into the lake, and Flower put her arms down as they slowed to a stop. "Wasn't that awesome, Hedwig?" She said.

"It was grest." Hedwig said. "Listen, we should find your brother-"

"Oh, he can wait." Flower said dismissively, as she popped open the hatch and stepped out. "Ah, it's a nice night." She said. She pulled herself out and sat on the side fin of the ship, sticking her bare feet into the water. "The water is nice!" She said, as she swished back and forth.

"Um. No." Hedwig said. "It's polluted."

"Really?" Flower said, as she leaned forward. "What's all this red stuff?"

"The Death Eaters enchanted the Giant Squid to never stop bleeding." Hedwig informed her. Flower, however, was nonplussed.

"Well, clean it then!" She said, as she stood up. She looked over to the castle, and she was surprised at the lack of lights coming from it, and the soaring, black things in cloaks. "Hedwig, what the hell are those?"

"Dementors." The Owl informed her.

"Huh." Flower said, as she looked back. "They look boring." She hopped down into the water, and looked back up at Hedwig. "Why are you still here?" She asked. "Go on: do whatever it is that Owls do."

Hedwig ruffled her feathers: Although she had had quite enough of Flower and her attitude, she was rather put off by the way she told her to go away. However, Hedwig was not complaining. She took off, and soared to the Owlery.

Flower did not even watch her go, as she swam back to shore. She got out, and shook herself dry. She couldn't help but notice that her clothes had a slight red tinge. Whatever, Flower thought. She would get some new, fresh ones from the school.

As she walked over the battered and scarred Earth on her way to the castle, she could not but wonder how many battles had taken place here. The fight against Professor Quirrel, for all intents and purposes, had caused nowhere near the damage to the ground and trees. Flower found herself somewhat envying everyone who stayed behind to fight. How many of Voldemort's men had fallen here? Flower, usually not at all fond of dealing with commonplace soldiers, rather liked the idea of fighting and destroying thousands upon thosands of Voldemort's men, if only to make the guy terrified before Flower killed him.

The front door was, for all intents and purposes, preventing Flower from her current goal: getting inside. Flower stood there, as she tried to recall how to open it. No ideas came to mind, so she resolved to knock on the door as hard as she could.

The sound echoed across the castle, and Flower waited for a second or two. Quickly losing patience, she knocked again.

Again, the beat came out unnaturally loud,

Flower was thinking of taking her chances with those weird flying things and jumping the wall, but the door swung open.

There stood another Elf, this time a proper, subserivient House elf.

"Good evening!" Flower said cheerfully, as she leaned forward. "I'm Flower Potter? The Sister of Harvey Potter?"

"Identification please, Miss?" The Elf said. He seemed to be more interested in the surrounding area then Flower herself. How rude!

"Hedwig told me to come back!" Flower snapped. She was annoyed at the lack of interest the Elf showed in her. "I was busy doing something. If I'm not wanted here, then I'll just go!"

As she turned on her heel to leave the elf, she was already planning her next move. Seeing the Castle again was nice, but if there was no fight going on, it was really not worth it to stick around.

"Hold it." A familiar voice said.

Flower turned around, and came face to face with her brother, Harvey.

He was not quite as what Flower remembered him. He used to be short, annoying, and rather stupid looking in his Anime T-Shirts. But now he was taller then Flower herself, and seemed rather quiet. He was also wearing yellow sunglasses.

"Flower." He said, as he stepped forward. "So nice to see you again."

"What do you want?" Flower asked.

"Let's go to the Tower, we'll talk there." He said, as he turned around. "Shut the door." He said to the elf.

Flower dashed inside the wall, and waited for a while for Harvey to leave. She knew the way, and she could always use a look around.

Although this was really, honestly nothing more then an excuse to avoid Harvey for now. He was in the Gryffindor Tower, and would be there when she arrived.

Flower took the time to refresh her memory of the Castle layout. She honestly could not even remember how many floors there were. The castle was as huge as ever, but Flower felt it was a little empty. It must have been the fact that it was late, and no one was wandering around.

In what seemed like no time at all, Flower found herself at the base of Gryffindor Tower.

"Open, damn you!" Flower said to the portrait. The picture rolled it's eyes and slid aside, and Flower clambered inside.

The common room seemed a bit more torn up then the last time Flower was here. Well, perhaps torn up was a bit of a stretch. It simply didn't seem as rich or comfortable as it had all those years ago.

"Ah, Flower." Harvey said. He was sitting in a plush armchair by the fire, surrounded by several others. "Have a seat."

Flower sauntered over to the group, and sat down on an unoccupied couch.

The Chairs and Couches of the room were all adjusted to form a circle around the Fireplace. Harvey was sitting facing the fire. On his right, sat Ron. He ignored Flower as he played on his GBA. Flower made a face at him. The meanie.

The chair on Harvey's left was empty, but the couch next to that was where Flower herself was sitting. Across from Flower, and sitting next to Ron, were two girls Flower had never seen before. One had a bright red mane of hair exactly the same as Ron's. She smiled at Flower, and Flower smiled back, and winked.

The other girl on the couch seemed to be completely unaware of what was going on. Her odd, pale eyes stared off into nothing, and she seemed disinterested in everything and everyone going on around her. Flower had never seen her before, but she was reminded strongly of someone, just by looking at her.

The chair to Flower's left was unoccupied. It was the same with the chair next to that.

Flower could not misplace the man sitting with his back to the fire if she tried. With his sleek, shiny, blond hair, pale complexion, and superior attitude, Draco Malfoy was hard to miss. He was sitting with his legs crossed, flanked by Crabbe and Goyled. He acknowledged Flower with a nod, and then his expression became unreadable.

"What the hell are Slytherins doing in the Tower?" Flower asked.

"This tower is temporaily unoccupied due to security concerns." Malfoy said. "We are free to meet here with our comrades if we so wish."

"Yes! Indeed!" Crabbe said, as he adjusted his monocle. "We typically have meetings in more secure locations, but as the security measures we have in place are not set for you quite yet-"

"Crabbe. Silence." Goyle thundered. "Remember, anyone could be listening."

"Ah, yes. Of course, My apologies."

"I don't think they're going to make it." Ron said, as he looked up from his Game Boy. "They should have been here by now. We can always put off their report until the next meeting. We need to give Flower the bare details."

"Yes, I agree." Harvey said.

"Okay, now you're just talking in riddles." Flower said. "Just give it to me straight: What the hell is going on here? I was told that something bad was going to happen if I didn't come back pronto, and I see you guys are just sitting around."

"Flower... The Forest is burning, the Lake is filled with blood, and there are literally-" With this, Draco flicked his wand, opening the window curtains, revealing several Dementors zooming around the tower, kept only at bay by a small, silver terrier. "incarnations of despair hovering around our meeting place." Draco said, as he glared at Flower. "Do you think everything is alright?"

"Well, yeah." Flower said. "I mean, you're all alive (Obviously) Voldemort's not here, and since I'm here, nothing can possibly go wrong." Flower said. She adjusted her body so that she was lying down on the couch. "I'm kind of tired." She complained. "Can this wait?"

"Flower, this Castle is literally the last hope for this planet, and if you don't wake up right now I'll-"

"Calm down, Draco." Harvey said. "She doesn't yet understand the situation, no?"

"That's no excuse to dismiss us as not suffering enough to require her help!"

"Oh, I'll help!" Flower said brightly, as she sat up. "I mean, you wanna kill Voldemort, right? I'm all over that shit."

"Flower-" Harvey began.

"Screw this." Malfoy complained. "Look, she doesn't understand, and she clearly doesn't want to understand. I say we send her back into space."

"Huh?" Flower was rather taken aback. Draco and Flower had always been good friends (At least, Draco actually acted on Flower's feelings for him... unlike Freaking Ron 'I'm scared of Voldemort' Weasley.)

"Flower has shown that she is willing to fight with us." Harvey said. "I trust her to do nothing more, and nothing less."

"I can do that!" Flower said brightly.

"Alright." Draco said. "We'll allow Flower to defend this Castle from any and all invaders. No discussing important details in front of her. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

Draco seemed satisfied with this, as he relaxed a bit in his chair. "I suppose there's nothing more we can do until that report arrives, is there?"

"Hang on." Crabbe cut in. "What about the iniation?"

"Do we really want to do that here?" Malfoy asked. "Do you think it's safe?"

"Yes." Goyle said, nodding. "Dean and Seamus are still safe, so there are nothing worse then Dementors running around."

"Good." Malfoy said. "Well, I suppose we have to get this over with." He motioned to the red head girl. "Ginny! Prepare the circle!"

"Oh! Yes, of course!"

Ginny pulled out her wand and began muttering under her breath as lines became intertwined between the people.

"Hmm... We need... Seven." Draco said, as he did a quick head count. "Is Luna up to this?"

"All she has to do is stand still." Ginny said. "I'll keep a hold on her."

"When I grow up, I want to be a cat." Luna said, dreamily.

The white lines became more and more complex as the formed an intricate symbol, Three Triangles, each touching the tips of two others, forming another triangle in the middle.

"Stand in the middle, Flower." Harvey said.

Flower stood up, and walked over to the spot.

...

"Congratulations. Now, you are one of us." Malfoy said. "Harvey will fill you in on the details of what you should do as you go along. Now, if that is all, I think I will be going to bed. Night-"

"Hello." A soft, feminine, voice said, Flower nearly broke her neck to see who was at the door.

Hermione had changed over the Summer. Gone were the large buck teeth, the unfashionable clothes, and her messy brown hair. Her teeth were perfect, shining in the sun, and oh, who am I kidding. You've read this before.

"Hello, Flower!" Hermione said brightly as she walked over. "I went down to appeal to the Headmaster, asking if you can come back to school. Since it's for defense purposes, he's agreed to re-instate. You start your first day of Fifth Year tomorrow. Here's your schedule."

She held it out, and Flower stared at her with a flabbergasted expression. This was Hermione? Hermione was... cool?

"Flower?" Hermione asked, as she waved a hand in front of her face. "Hello?"

"I think Draco's right." Harvey said. "Bed time. I don't think she's going to make it back, tonight."

"Finally!" Ron said, as he shut his gameboy. "I need to rest up for Potions!"

"Come on, Flower." Hermione cajoled. "Bed time. Let's go."

The Adventures would start for real, tomorrow. Flower suddenly decided. Nothing could stop her. Nothing.


	3. The First Day of School

"What do you mean, you didn't actually go to the New Galactic Empire?" Lavender asked, her eyes wide. "Don't they have some of the best warriors in the universe?"

"Oh, that's just pure Propanganda." Flower said dismissively, as she collapased on her bed. "Ah, how nice and fluffy." She sighed.

"Flower." Hermione said, rather sternly. "You did actually train out there, didn't you?"

Flower was scandalized.

"Of course!" She scoffed. "I just didn't go in the Empire, that's all. There are plenty of planets that have self run governments, and even more that aren't even united as one, yet."

The four former dorm mates were catching up on old times, the topic of gossip tonight being Flower's journey.

"It's so nice here, as well." Flower chirped. "I mean, now that only us friends are here. What happened to her, anyway?" Their fifth dorm mate was conspiculously absent.

"Um." Parvati looked towards Hermione and Lavender, and then back to Flower. "She followed you into space. Didn't you see her?"

"What!" Flower exploded. The vase carrying a small lily next to her bed shattered, as she stood up. "Why?"

"She wanted to train too, apparently." Parvati shrugged. "She left as soon as she found out you left, first thing Second year."

"Dammit!" Flower said, as she jumped to her feet. "That stupid bitch!"

...

Flower's first day back went by in a blur, as Flower spent the majority of the time sulking. Her brother and his friends chose to let her be as they moved from class to class, from Transifiguration to some bullshit called Divination to the sexy sexy Potions class to the Lunch Break.

Her mood improved exponientially by lunchtime, as many of her favorite things she had not tasted in years. She stuffed herself full of Pizza, Mac and Cheese, and Vanilla Ice Cream to the point of explosion.

After she had finished eating, she took a walk in the garden and watched as a Dementor swooped down and grabbed a kid, and soared off with it. Flower wondered if this was a regular occurence.

Although this story takes place in a school, I would liketo stress that in this story, much like reality, school is not nearly as important as assholes like your parents and teachers make it out to be. It should be, but the government has ruined it.

Flower being Flower, had a sort of trepidation of doing school work, as she knew that it was boring and pointless. And yet there was so much of it! Hundreds of essays assigned, dozens of people breaking down in tears from the stress, material that even Flower, who had left the Muggle public education system at eleven mastering high level calculus maths, completely baffled. She came to the conclusion that the school had raised it's standards to the point of insanity. If they would not allow students to passs no matter how hard they tried, Flower was not even going to put in the effort.

Flower adjusted her sword strap that was hanging over her shoulder. The Deus Ex Machina Sword, Flower's trusted weapon, would not ever leave Flower's side. They were bound by more then just warrior and weapon. They were more then just friends, they were more then lovers. They were one being, capable of destroying anything in their path.

Or so Flower believed.

When Flower was let out of her last class, Charms, she walked out wonderin what the hell wandwork had to do with seduction, when she ran smack dab into Hermione.

"Oh, sorry." Flower said, as she grabbed Hermione's arm. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, thank you." Hermione said. "I think you need to see our hideout, before the day is through. "Follow me."

"Anytime!" Flower said.

The two friends walked towards the grand staircase, and Flower tried to engage Hermione in conversation.

"So what the hell did you do?" Flower asked.

"Excuse me?"

"I mean, you look different. I like the change."

"Oh." Hermione said. "Well, it turns out that I'm not actually a Mudblood. I am, in fact, one of the most pure individuals in the world. I was stolen at birth by a could of Japanese muggles, who used a bunch of illicit means to make me look like their daughter. Draco knew that Mudbloods can not have magic, so he did some digging around, and discovered my real parents. Once my heritage came to light, I changed overnight." She shrugged. "My powers have increased, as well. As I am one of the most pure people here, my powers are incredible. I'm certainly one of the strongest in the school, right now."

"Well, I'm the strongest in the Universe!" Flower said. Her ego was not something that could be outmatched. "Born of the scum of the Earth, I, Flower, have transcended the barrier between mortals and gods-"

"That's nice, Flower." Hermione said. "Here it is."

The two stopped in front of a sort of pillar. Flower, looking around, some a statue of some douchebag with trolls. Needless to say, this hallway was boring.

"Here." Hermione said. Flower looked back, and a door that had not been there previously had appeared. Flower walked towards it, and followed Hermione inside.

"Neville!" Hermione called. "Where the hell are you, Neville?"

The room was spacious, and very cool. All sort of swords and shit adorned a wall. There were books detailing stuff Flower didn't need to care about.

"Neville!" Hermione cried again, exasperated. "What the hell are you doing?"

And so, out of the shadows, stepped Flower's least favorite man at Hogwarts... Neville.

Neville, despite his inhumanely huge penis (Or at least, that's what all the girls said) was not at all Flower's type. Stupid, perverted, unattractive, and a liar, Flower was outright disgusted with him. Flower didn't do douchebags, although nearly everyone else Flower knew had slept with Neville at some point. Flower had taste, dammit.

"Well, hello." Neville said, looking Flower over. "Who are you? I don't think we've met." In sleazebag, this translated roughly to, 'I haven't fucked your brains out yet.' Knowing that Neville could never meet the high standards Flower set herself for, she ignored his advances.

"Asshole. It's me, Flower." Flower said.

"Oh, hey. It's been a while." Neville said smoothly. "How have you been?"

Flower refused to answer. Neville was being a tool again.

"Umm... so Neville, can you give Flower the rundown on what we do here?" Hermione asked.

"Of course!" And he was off, explaining how some bullshit sensors work, and why the students were forced to fight the forces of evil, and other such boring things. FLower wasn't interested in any of that, though. IN fact, all of a sudden she felt rather tired.

"That's enough." Hemione said. "Flower, are you all right?"

"I'm just a little tired."

"hm... I guess we should go to bed." Hermione said thoughtfully. "It's not our shift, so we need all the rest we can get."

Suddenly, a piercing sound and many flashes of light erupted everywhere, andd Flower instinctivly covered her ears.

"Neville!" Hermione screamed, in a panic.

"I'm on it." He dashed over to the computer, and began smashing random keys. "What's up, doc?"

The screen came to life, and Ginny and a boy Flower recognized to be Seamus were standing on top of the Astronomy Tower.

"Neville, there's another spaceship headed this way. Can you get a close up?"

"On it." Neville hit a few more keys, and the Astronomy tower began to open up to reveal a gigantic telescope. He adjusted it a bit, and quickly found the object in question.

"That's a new Galactic Empire Pod!" Flower said, as the vessel in question popped up on screen. "They're designed for one man, but typically they travel in groups of five or six."

"Why's this one all alone?" Hermione wondered aloud.

"I don't know, but I guess it doesn't matter. Hermione... can you go out and confront the guy, when he lands? I don't think we want the New Galactic Empire on our doorstep."

"Of course." Hermione nodded.

"I wanna come too!" Flower said. "Come on, Hermione. Let's go!"

...

The Broomsticks Malfoy had procured for long distance missions were top of the line, and the two took to the skies immediatly to begin tracking the Pod. But, it seemed that this was not a necessary precaution, as the pod began hurtling towards them.

"It's gonna land here!" Hermione said, in shock.

"I'll take care of it." Flower said arrogantly. She adjusted herself to prepare to spring out towards the shuttle and knock it out of the air.

"No!" Hermione snapped. "I want to know what they want with us! If we provoke them for no reason, we might enrage the New Galactic Emperor!"

"So?"

"So if we do that, he may side with Voldemort?"

Although the idea of taking on what was probably the most powerful political force in the Universe was attractive, they might prevent her from fighting Voldemort anytime soon. Indeed, life was full of tough choices.

"Fine. We let it land." Flower grumbled. Hermione sighed in relief, as they waited for the pod to land.

...

The bastards at the Empire don't care much for Smooth landings." Flower informed Hermione as they soared over the Forbidden Forest, where the Pod had crash landed, forming a gigantic crater. "What's a little scarring to the planet, in order to ensure a timely arrival?"

They descended, making sure to keep a good distance away from the hatch, and whatever might come out of it.

"Why aren't they coming out?"

"Hm." Flower said, as she stepped forward. She tapped the pod, and the hatch opened.

It was empty.

"That's odd." Flower said. "Hey, Hermione! This is empty."

"How odd." Hermione said, as she examined it. "What purpose does sending an unmanned pod serve?" She stepped back, and activated her transmitter lodged in her ear. "This Is Hermione. The Pod's empty. We don't-"

Suddenly, for the second time that day, the girls were startled by an unexpected alarm.

"Foolish Earthlings!" The voice boomed. "How dare you steal the property of the New Galactic Empire?"

"Excuse me?" Hermione asked, completely baffled.

"We have left your pathetic planet alone far too long. We shall teach you respect! Assemble the fleet-"

And it went as soon as it came.

"Are you serious?" Hermione demanded. "They are sending an entire Army to wipe us out just because they think we took their ship?"

"That's normal procedure for them, I think."


End file.
